Worse Than an Atheist

Years ago, it seemed I was the only known atheist in my high school class.”  I wasn’t merely a “fallen Catholic.” I’d plummeted from grace like a lead balloon.  One or two of my classmates prayed for my soul, I’ve been told.

Several years passed.  No “foxhole conversion” for me in Vietnam.  (Hey, I was flying over the DMZ, so how would that work?  No foxholes to be found!)  I’ve been warned, “On one day, every atheist will crawl. … They will all try to come crawling back to God at the end. Everyone does.  Crying and sobbing.  Shaking and quaking.  The crocodile tears will flow like water.  Too little.  Too late.”

Gee, thanks for the heads-up.  I’ll keep that in mind – NOT! – and if you’re right, you’ll have the last laugh.

More recently, I was rebuked for “… making a lot of serious errors in [my] understanding of God.”  Ah, no doubt.

I’ve told my well-meaning critics that I used to be an atheist.  Not particularly vocal about it, but quite resolute & comfortable in my beliefs.  However, over these past few years, I’ve sunk even lower than merely denying the existence of God, turning a blind eye to all the “evidence” that could only have come about through a Creator’s design. 

How could one possibly be worse than an atheist?  Recently I explained to my Jehovah’s Witness friends (i.e., weekly visitors) that, in my mind, the question of God’s existence is simply irrelevant.

Why?  First, because I’m not especially enamored by the prospect of living forever – even in God’s Kingdom.  I can accept that some day I’ll simply be gone.  Dust to dust.  I’m okay with that.  Second, I don’t waste a lot of time pondering, “Why am I here?”  No need for me to discover “purpose” for our existence.  I do my best to create purpose amongst all that I do.  And that leads me to my final consideration.

I observe the world around me.  Reality or not, divine creation or not, I choose to take it as a “given” to work with.  I can examine my own actions (& motivations), evaluate how those actions affect others, then choose to live in ways that enhance others’ lives & hopefully alleviate their suffering.  I take responsibility for whatever situations I create, and try to make things better, not worse.

So, if I’m wrong, maybe I’ll be punished for not worshipping God & obeying his/her/its Word.  Burn in hell, perhaps?  The JWs tell me I’ll just remain dust, no pain or gain, nothingness, nada.  (This fate, despite their telling me that Jehovah can see the goodness in my heart.)

And that brings me to this final thought.  However it’s come about – divinely or not – I’m endowed with the ability to make loving, accepting, moral decisions.  I live by those values, as best I can.  Not enough for a loving God?  Then not enough for me to worship that God.

Copyright © 2016-08-13, Mike Kruchoski, All Rights Reserved