Life Reprioritized

Three years ago, when people asked what I do, I’d start with a 15-second summary of my four passions: writing, travel, photography & videography — all of which go together quite nicely — and the broad area of tech innovation & entrepreneurialism.  Then, if they had time, I’d talk about a few of my personal projects and where they fell beneath the umbrella of those four top priorities.

Thirteen months ago, all that changed.  Sure, the stage had already been set two years ago, when my granddaughter Vivian left the NICU (newborn intensive care unit) and I started to devote more time to family support.  And in the autumn of 2017, I had committed to serving on the community policing council, to support Albuquerque’s police reform effort.

But it was the election of our evil and obscene president that forced me to review all that matters to me.  My four passions dropped down to become my fifth tier of priorities.  (Beekeeping is way down there, too.)  I experienced a string of epiphanies as I struggled to retain my faith in the underlying goodness of my fellow Americans and to understand their sorrows as well their joys, things that might provide common ground for reuniting our society.

I settled on four new tiers of priorities.  (Yeah, yeah, I hear the naysayers: “Bite off too much and you won’t get shit done.”)  In a nutshell, they are:

1. Family: Kids, grandkids, Jill, daughters-in-law, mom, siblings, and the extended family.
2. NICU: Jill and I volunteer our time every week to “cuddle” the premature (and/or “withdrawal”) babies to ease their entry to the world and support their families as they grapple with their new challenges.
3. Police reform: I first engaged in Albuquerque’s CASA (court approved settlement agreement) activities three years ago.  I’ve served on the Community Policing Council for the past year now.
4. Political “engagement”: This is the HUGE fly-in-the-ointment issue for me.  Suffice it to say — just for the moment — that it is the moral responsibility of decent people to keep evil people from doing evil things.  I’ve held my tongue for more than a year.  That will be changing soon.

Writing!  Ahh, writing.  So easy to procrastinate.  Too easy to just post on Facebook instead.  Not going to do much of that any more.

Copyright © 2017-12-06, Mike Kruchoski, All Rights Reserved.

Walk a Mile in Your Shoes?

Yes, actually, I have walked it.  I’ve slept in an empty building -- and on the roadside from time to time.  I’ve eaten reheated, day-old baked potato skins for breakfast.  Faced bankruptcy.  Cleaned toilets as a "seasonal worker" when my unemployment benefits expired.

I don’t dwell on those experiences or wallow in self-pity about hard times.  I don’t mention them here as some sort of self-righteous proof of my exceptional character.

Yet, in moments of reflection, I do cry when I remember them.  Not for myself or what I experienced, but for others who face the same hardships I once faced.

Many conservatives extol the virtue – indeed, the necessity -- of “pulling oneself up by the bootstraps” to get ahead in life through one’s own efforts.  In their world view, determination and self-responsibility are all that’s needed.

Nice myth.  But then, we Americans are so in love with our mythology of superiority.  (More on that another time.)

I know that others have had far fewer advantages in life than I’ve had.  (More on that another time, too.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!)  For most people, starting at the bottom -- with no support, no resources, and no love – makes “self-determination” and “true grit” virtually impossible.  Sometimes people are so far behind that they can never catch up.  They deserve our understanding, compassion, and help.

Copyright © 2017-11-15, Mike Kruchoski, All Rights Reserved.

Mi Vida Loca (chapter 2)

Some day I might well pay the price for my choices.

Over the past year, I’ve cautiously intervened in three simmering domestic violence incidents and one potential child abuse incident.  I called the police in two cases.

On my way to the Citizen Police Academy alumin association yesterday, I saw a couple in a parking lot.  They were clearly arguing.  Their truck was parked with doors open, suggesting they’d ‘bailed out’ quickly to escalate matters on the street.

I made a U-turn and drove slowly past them to assess the situation.  No fists raised, no obvious weapons.  I pulled into the adjoining parking lot to keep an eye on them, ready to call the police, but also ready to approach them carefully if necessary.  They seemed to calm down, got into the truck, then drove away.

I share this story, not to prove any heroics.  Sometimes merely ‘bearing witness’ through one’s presence is enough to help calm matters.  Carefully chosen words can help.  I confronted one man with, “You need to treat one another nicer.”  (I also called the police afterward.)

Another time I approached a father loudly cursing his young son and asked, “Is there anything I can help with?”  I stayed long enough to see things calming down, then headed into Walmart.  Ten minutes later I met both of them in the frozen foods aisle.  I asked if they liked Klondike bars.  Once we were out in the parking lot again, I shared ice cream with both.  The father thanked me and said, “God Bless you.”

Jill and I had an ‘animated’ discussion last  night about my risky behavior.  I assured her I have no wish to become the evening’s news about violence on the streets, so I exercise as much care as I can.  But as I told her previously, I know I’m going to die some day, and in the meantime I choose not to live in fear, and not to turn my back on what happens around me.

Copyright © 2017-10-12, Mike Kruchoski, All Rights Reserved.

Upcoming Attractions (April 30th)

Wazzup? — Why 'Eye of Mike' been so long in the making.  And why I've closed the group to public comments.  Don't like it?  Here's what you can do.

The Week That Was: #17 of 2017 — Each week I'll reflect on my experiences & the lessons I learned.  Might be a lot, or maybe not much at all.  But in the recent past:  Death on the NICU?  (Yes, we were right there, crying with the family!)  Encounters with the mentally ill?  (It happened unexpectedly on my Ride-Along with Albuquerque's police.)  Helping the homeless?  (I talk to them often, doing what I can.  Can  you say the same?)  Lawbreakers?  (Petty thieves or convicted felons, I do my best to foster positive change to turn their lives around.)

We're 'Hardwired' For Stupid! — What helping us survive on the Serengeti is not always so helpful in today's increasingly global, industrial, technological environment.  Beware!

Trump is Evil: What to Do About It! — Two weeks ago, after more than six months of introspection & epiphanies, I finally said publicly what I'd concluded long ago.  Don't think Evil exists in the world?  I'll make my case that it does.

Decency Triumphs. — Fame, fortune, and power?  Meh!

Brother Boehner, Where Art Thou? — I cry often.  It's not a weakness.

I'm Not Angry About 'Losing' — Why I'm angry and alarmed, and why you should be, too.

A Little Girl — My Moral Anchor

It was a cold, breezy, cloudy, rainy day.  All the oh-so-common ingredients for feeling dreary.  But instead, it was another blessing in life.  A moment to cherish.

I was walking with my 18-month-old granddaughter.  She looked at the world in amazement, taking in all the sights and sensations.  I gazed at her and smiled.

For a few minutes, I put behind my other "priorities" and petty concerns to focus on human connections, compassion, caring.  In that moment, I saw in Vivian's face the faces of others who are not so fortunate.  Starving children in South Sudan.  War-ravaged children across Syria.  Yes, even impoverished children of back-roads Appalachia.  And I feel the grief of those parents far away.  (I cry* often.)

I reflect on the many advantages and benefits I have.  By and large, a relatively peaceful and safe society (despite #FAKENEWS to the contrary).  Plentiful food, clean water, clean air (for the time being).  A close and caring community of family, friends, and neighbors.

And in contemplating the challenges that so many others face, I find some respite from my anger** about the 2016 election results.  I remind myself that we have far more in common than we recognize — or care to admit.

It's not that Vivian is more special than my other grandchildren, that I love them any less.  But Vivian's rough start to life, the timing of her birth, the challenges she's presented to her parents, and my fortunate capacity to lend a helping hand are all reasons to reflect on what's important in life.

And that brings me back to seeing others in a compassionate light.

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* Brother Boehner, Where Art Thou? — to be posted soon
** I'm Not Angry About 'Losing' — to be posted soon